Even though this is a dating post, whether you are single or not this post is for you!
If you’re married right now and wondering why this is for you, let me explain! I guarantee you know someone…sister, friend, coworker, etc…who is single and so you need to read this so you can be a good friend. This will help you be the kind of friend who listens to the tales of a first date and offers wise council about going on a second date. This will also help you be the kind of friend who encourages the males in your life not to be this guy.
If you’re single, this is definitely for you! I’m sharing some sage wisdom I’ve learned along the way in my single journey so that I can save you the time and trouble of a second date that will ultimately end in tears, Netflix binging, and too many cupcakes. I’m also a learner so I’ve been listening to friends share their stories for years and will also include what I’ve learned from them. Note: All names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent. Although I probably should’ve left some of the names so y’all would know exactly which guys to avoid!
If you’re a guy trying to make it to the second date, this should be your Bible! Read these, study them, learn from them, take notes. And above all else, don’t do these things!
And now a few reasons you should turn down a second date…
- If after your first date you tell your friend about the date and she responds with, “Oh, did his divorce go through?!?”…say no to the second date!
- If he spends the whole date talking about himself and never asking about you…say no to the second date! Conversation should be balanced with both of you asking questions about the other…this is not a one-sided job interview!
- If your date spends approximately 80% of the date defending his interest in fashion and explaining that his obsession with fashion does not in fact make him gay…say no to the second date!
- If you tell him you’re not interested and he tells you to sleep on it…say no to the second date!
- If he wants to take you to an AA meeting for your date…say no to the second date!
- If all of your date’s conversation revolves around all of the things he could afford to be doing with you right now instead of having dinner at a restaurant…say no to the second date! If you could have afforded to fly me to San Francisco to catch a baseball game for our date, then why are we sitting here eating at Chili’s?!?
- If more than half of your conversation is spent on your date explaining and defending the lies in his dating profile…say no to the second date! I know we all put forth our best self in our dating profile, but it shouldn’t be one big lie from start to finish!
- If he gets drunk, curses incessantly, and just generally makes a fool of himself…say no to the second date! The first date is a time to put your best foot forward…not come across as an utterly foolish drunken frat boy! (This one is even more important as you get older, because a 35-year-old acting like they are still 21…oh boy!)
- If he texts you more than 100 times and you haven’t responded to the first one yet…say no to the second date!